ATTENTION PASSENGERS

CRAZY TRAIN ARRIVAL TIME POSTPONED 2 HOURS DUE TO UNSCHEDULED STOPS IN VOM-TOWN EAST, WEST AND NORTH. EXPECT DELAYS ALL DAY.




UHHHH...SORRY DUDES!

SO. BEAUTIFUL.

CHEERS, FROM ONE TRAIN TO THE OTHER!

OH SHIT WAIT

trainwreck: did you save him?
crazy train: no i got distracted
trainwreck: i saw last days again a few days ago
crazy train: WAIT
trainwreck: gus van zant's kurt movie
crazy train: I JUST REMEMBERED WHY I GOT DISTRACTED
trainwreck: haha
trainwreck: whyyy>
crazy train: YOU AND I WERE BEING CHASED BY A RABID SQUIRREL
crazy train: I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH
crazy train: OMG I AM LAUGHING
trainwreck: hahahahahaha
trainwreck: BRILLAINT
trainwreck: i misspelled that
trainwreck: ITS A METAPHOR!
trainwreck: or something?
crazy train: I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THAT PART
trainwreck: hahahaha sooooo gooood
crazy train: and then no one believed us!!
crazy train: and kurt WAS ALREADY GONE
crazy train: and i knew that i'd never be able to save him from his imminent, drug fueled death!!!!!
crazy train: IT WAS SO SAD
trainwreck: hahahaha BECAUSE OF A SQUIRREL
trainwreck: i think the squirrel is [LORD OF THE JAMZ]
crazy train: ugggghhhhhh FUCK THAT SQUIRREL
crazy train: HAHAHAHAHAHAH
trainwreck: it's got to be!
crazy train: that squirrel was ANGRY
trainwreck: [JAMZ] doesnt seem like an angry kid
crazy train: my dreams obv. know better though
trainwreck: hahah true true

DREAMZ

LAST NIGHT I DREAMED THAT MY DAD CALLED ME FAT AND I WAS REALLY, REALLY MAD ABOUT IT


THEN I HAD A DREAM THAT I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAVE KURT COBAIN FROM AN EARLY GRAVE, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS LURE HIM AWAY FROM COURTNEY LOVE!



THE SECOND ONE WAS A PRETTY GOOD DREAM, BUT EVEN IN MY DREAM HE WAS A REALLY LITTLE GUY!

A WEEKEND IN RETROSPECT

1. i have a MYSTERIOUS BITE SHAPED BRUISE on my forearm. who gave me this?????!?

2. I HAVE NOT GOTTEN A FULL NIGHTS SLEEP IN DAYS AND DAYS. crazy train and i painted the town red on saturday night but we DON'T REMEMBER IT. see also: holiday parties, previous attempts at wrestling/skirt monsters, various nefarious trips in mystery vans. basically it was awesome. i think. from what i hear anyway.

3. my liver hurts. really. ouch ouch ouch.

4. crazy train and hubby are so cute i am glad i didn't vomit on them.

5. i'm also just glad i didn't vomit in general.

6. i forget what wonderful things i told some shirtless dude backstage but i remember thinking i was really funny. i think in drunk to sober translation that means i was being plain old weird and/or making poor attempts at humor. i think i was trying to make fun of him? did he bite me? THE MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE NEVER CEASE.

7. i love biscuits and gravy. KUDOS TO MY MOM FOR TAKING HER DRUNK DAUGHTER TO A NICE BRUNCH. also double bonus for delicious bloody mary with capers.

8. i'm really into getting postcards.

9. i have decorated everything in my apartment with xmas lights. SRSLY! it looks beautiful/shiny/bright/like a shitty dormroom minus the monet poster and ugly clapboard snap together furniture with fucking stupid butterfly chair. how ugly is this pink furry thing? makes my skin crawl.



10. i am a skittish alley cat. please scratch behind my earz but don't be suprised if i'm rabid. or if i have feline aids. or if i'm really bad with people/babies/other kitties. LOVE ME!

OH SHIT WAIT

EVEN BETTER

FREIGHT TRAIN:

THE (EXTREMELY) EARLY YEARS?

FUCK. WINTER.

SERIOUSLY.

ANOTHER NIGHT IN THE LIFE OF THE FREIGHT TRAIN

THURSDAY THE LADIEZ ATE A LOT OF CUBAN FOOD

AND COULDN'T OPEN THEIR BEERZ WITH AS MUCH SKILL AS THE DUDE WITH THE SPOON


A RUCKUS WAS CAUSED, FREE BOOZE WAS IMBIBED, CRAZY TRAIN LOST HER VOICE, LORD OF THE JAMZ WAS CALLED.

TONIGHT, THEY RELIVE THE GLORY. ONLY WITH LESS CUBAN FOOD AND WITH A SICKER CRAZY TRAIN.