TAKING A MOMENT TO BREATHE

LAST NIGHT LORD OF THE JAMZ WENT DANCING AND RULED THE JAMZ! HE WON OVER MANY LADIES AND THEY THOUGHT HE WAS CHARMING AND SHOULD DATE THEIR FRIEND. (caption unrelated to picture)

FREIGHT TRAIN WENT TO TEXAS

THEY ROLLED WITH THE JAMZ, A LOT OF LONE STAR, MGD AND TORTILLAS.

HIGHLIGHTS:

-BOSS LADY LET WEIRD GERMAN GIRL CRASH IN GIRLS DORM, CRAZY TRAIN SUBSEQUENTLY WOKE UP WITH WEIRD NAKED GERMAN ASS NEXT TO HER.
-TRAIN WRECK + CRAZY TRAIN SNUCK IN TO A SHOW THROUGH A BACK ALLEY. CRAZY TRAIN WAS FORCIBLY EJECTED DUE TO A MIXTURE OF HECKLING FRIENDS AND DISALLOWED BEVERAGES.
-TRAINWRECK WAS ATTACKED BY AN AMERICAN FLAG. BITCHFLAG SPILLED TRAINWRECKS MARGARITA!
-WANTED TO MAKE BOY FROM DEERHUNTER A SANDWICH AND TELL HIM IT WAS ALL OKAY, WE LOVE HIM NO MATTER WHAT.
-CRAZY TRAIN VOMMED ON SECOND DAY AT A PARTY, TRAINWRECK WAITED UNTIL THE SECOND DAY BACK ON THE SUBWAY!

THE SHINS WANT US TO DRINK

THE SHINS WANT TRAINWRECK AND I TO DRINK THE CHAMPAGNE THEY SENT RIGHT NOW, SINCE WE WERE SO INTEGRAL TO THE SUCCESS OF THE NEW ALBUM.

OH, EXCEPT THIS BOTTLE, OBVIOUSLY:

LOOK, I'M SORRY, OKAY?

THE OTHER FREIGHT TRAIN TEAM MEMBERS WERE REALLY ON THEIR GAME THIS WEEK, AND I...WASN'T.

I JUST WANTED TO TELL TEXAS TO WATCH THE FUCK OUT, BECAUSE THE LADIEZ AND JAMZ ALL GOT THEIR TICKETS TO AUSTIN THIS WEEK. WE'LL BE THERE TO TEAR SHIT UP REAL SOON.

"NYE FREIGHTTRAIN!" an interpretive photodance.

FAN FICTION: A Day in the Life of Two Princesses

Almost daily Princess Crazy Train and Princess Train Wreck's happiness is thwarted by monsters unimaginable. Suck in their tower of musical business, connected to the outside world only by telepathy (or maybe the internet) and their daily visits by the trolls, witches, and warlocks.

There are at least three trolls who lurk nearby. One's got a penchant for pink velour and a straggly beard. She lurks about the foot of the tower screeching. The second troll is a bumbling bizarre fellow. Sometimes amiable, sometimes lecherous and deviant, our heroines can smell him coming because of the putrid odor of stale smoke. The last troll is the most frightening. Her eyes glow red and her hair is fierce black. Of the trolls, she's the only most likely to cook the girls and eat them.



Sometimes the bog witch visits crackling wildly (though of late, she's been away collecting herbs and eyes of newt for potions). She is friendly to the girls even as the matted tangled mess of hair atop her head is home to various weevils and wasps. Princess Train Wreck is especially disturbed by this witch and Princess Crazy Train does her best to comfort her friend in the face of this somewhat harmless wizened old woman.

It's a lonely life away in their tower. Each princess dreams of her knight, or of maybe lil' schmoopy Todd in advertising, coming to her rescue. Thankfully they have each other. And ale at lunches. And various magic happy pills to ease the malaise.

GNAW

LAST NIGHT LADIEZ OF FREIGHT TRAIN DID SOME SHOTS AND ALTERNATELY PETTED AND CHEWED ON EACHOTHER.


THEN TRAINWRECK ABANDONED CRAZY TRAIN, AT WHICH POINT CRAZY TRAIN, AS PER USUAL, WENT COMPLETELY INSANE. MADe BOSS BUY MORE SHOTS. SPENT TIME ON FLOOR OF CAB. MADE FRIENDS WITH STRIPPERS.

TONIGHT, BUSY FUN TIME!!

EXPERIMENTS IN MODERATION AND RESPONSIBILITY

2007 I DUB THEE YEAR OF THE LIFESTYLE CHANGE.



NOT COUNTING FRIDAY. FRIDAY NEVER COUNTS EVER FOR ANYTHING EVER AGAIN. FRIDAY NEVER HAPPENED. THERE WAS A TIME WARP.



WHERE WAS FREIGHT TRAIN? FUNNY, WE DON'T KNOW EITHER!!!

HIGHLY FUNCTIONING FREIGHT TRAINZ

A VERY BESTIE NEW YEARS

CRAZY TRAIN AND THE JAMZ SPENT NEW YEARS TOGETHER. MOSTLY IT LOOKED LIKE THIS:


WITH A LITTLE BIT OF THIS:


THANKS JAMZ, FOR BOTH A GOOD TIME AND FOR LICKING MY FACE REPEATEDLY. NO, REALLY.